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The Monday night Orioles game thread: at Astros, 8:10

The Orioles finally travel out of the Eastern time zone on Monday night, facing the Astros. The Astros starter is obscure lefty Brett Oberholtzer. The Orioles are toast before the game even starts.

Evan Habeeb-USA TODAY Sports

I come bearing gifts, or at least one gift. Adam Jones is back in the Orioles starting lineup. Every gift has a price, however. J.J. Hardy is not in the starting lineup. Actually these two events are not connected in any way, other than by our feeble attempts to yoke sense and order to the chaotic swirling of the universe.

The newly-awakened slugger Delmon Young returns to his apparently rightful spot as the cleanup hitter, which is not any less absurd than it was before, only it looks less absurd because he managed to homer twice and now sports a slugging percentage that can at least credibly pretend it might some day ascend over .400.

Tonight, Orioles hitters will get to face off against Brett Oberholtzer, who is just the sort of obscure lefty who would shut them down for no apparent reason. He did this very thing two seasons ago. It was painful then and it will be painful again tonight. We aren't allowed to have nice things, but maybe at least Ubaldo Jimenez will pitch well and let us pretend that some day again we will have nice-ish things.

Today's Lineups

Manny Machado - 3B George Springer - RF
David Lough - CF Jose Altuve - 2B
Adam Jones - DH Preston Tucker - LF
Delmon Young - RF Evan Gattis - DH
Chris Davis - 1B Colby Rasmus - CF
Steve Pearce - LF Chris Carter - 1B
Caleb Joseph - C Luis Valbuena - 3B
Ryan Flaherty - 2B Jason Castro - C
Everth Cabrera - SS Marwin Gonzalez - SS
Ubaldo Jimenez - RHP Brett Oberholtzer - LHP