clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Will the real 2015 Orioles please stand up?

The team's streakiness makes it hard to discern its true talent level.

Patrick Smith/Getty Images

Being a fan is a continuing exercise in cognitive dissonance. You can believe, truly, deeply and simultaneously, that your chosen team has the talent it needs to contend, or even win it all, and also believe that they are doomed. Following the Orioles in particular, and for the last three years specifically, has had me so excited/dejected all the time that I didn't even notice that it was more justified than usual in this current season, until MASN's Steve Melewski pointed it out succinctly for me.

Calling this team "streaky" for the last few months would be an understatement. They've oscillated, for rather lengthy stretches, between playing like the best team in baseball and the absolute worst.

They're hot, then they're cold. They're yes, then they're no. They're in, then they're out. They're up, then they're down. They don't really want to stay, no, but they don't really want to go, oh.

Still with me? Sorry about that. That was just a terrible, terrible reference.

So... May I have your attention please?

Will the real 2015 Orioles please stand up?
I repeat, will the real 2015 Orioles please stand up?
We're going to have a problem here...
Y'all act like you've never seen a playoff baseball team before
Jaws all on the floor, like a close win, like Britton just slammed the door
Started grabbin' saves in oh-one-four, he first dropped a slider, throwing it over the left corner
It's the return of the "Oh wait, no wait, Ortiz didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Nelson Cruz said -- nothing, you idiots, Nelson Cruz is gone, with Seattle in the basement!
Baltimore fans all love Adam Jones, chicka chicka chicka "Simply AJ I'm lovin' him, look at him
Walking never, hitting his big home runs, flashing the glove and he's so cute, too"
O's probably got a couple of fools up in their dugout
But no worse than what's going on in Dan Duquette's boardroom
And sometimes, they want to get on a win streak and break loose
But can't, but it's cool for the Yankees to win with Stephen Drew
Those bums are in the lead, those bums are in the lead
And if we're lucky, they might just give the opening we need
And that's the ridiculous hope we have as fans
And expect this team not to break our hearts again
Of course they're gonna lose big by the time they leave the west coast, they got the track record, don't they?
We ain't nothing but fans, though
Well, some of us bandwagoners, who cut out the O's once the Ravens go
But if we can watch O's rise and fall and rise and fall
Then there's no reason not to have it end with October baseball
So if you feel like I feel, the O's got no antidote
Hold your breath and watch the O's, we'll see where this season goes

Because they're the real Orioles, no wait, they're the real Orioles
Those other Orioles were just imitating
So won't the real Orioles please stand up?  Please... stand up?

I'm so sorry.