Wednesday afternoon Orioles game thread: at Blue Jays, 12:37

This is it. This is the last chance that the Orioles will have to win a game in Canada in the 2018 season. They are looking to avoid a perfect 0-10 record up north. Or maybe they aren’t looking to avoid it, I don’t know. These guys are bad and the people in charge have not given us much reason lately to be assured that they have any idea what the heck they are doing.

David Hess will step onto the carpet to start this game for the O’s as they look to win at least one game. Perhaps he slathered some lucky maple syrup on his pancakes this morning, or got some Timbits. Maybe he ate poutine last night and that will bring him good luck today. Probably he will not have good luck today, even if he did the right lucky routine things, because the power of superstition cannot overcome the essential 2018 Orioles badness.

This team could lose their 90th game today, for crying out loud. It’s August 22! Although the Orioles did manage to lose 90+ games every year from 2006-11, they at least had the decency to wait until mid-September to lose their 90th. This year, they’ll likely lose #90 before they win #40. They may never reach 50 wins at all. Our minds are not equipped to comprehend this level of awful baseball.

Here’s how they line up behind Hess for this series finale against the Blue Jays:

1. Cedric Mullins - CF
2. Jonathan Villar - 2B
3. Trey Mancini - 1B
4. Adam Jones - RF
5. Tim Beckham - SS
6. Craig Gentry - LF
7. Renato Nunez - 3B
8. John Andreoli - DH
9. Austin Wynns - C

These fellows will be going up against Jays rookie Thomas Pannone this afternoon. Pannone will be making his first ever MLB start. Yeah.