Orioles lose 10-3 and still have to play another game today!

Most people know that the Orioles are in the middle of a historically bad season. But if, by chance, an Orioles fan was just emerging from a season of hibernation and turned on this game as his first exposure to the team this year, it would still be obvious how terrible the Orioles are.

That fan might also wonder what the heck happened to the Orioles uniforms while he was gone. Don’t worry, out of touch fan, it’s just players’ weekend where the teams all dress like it’s little league and get to pick the names on the backs of their jerseys.

The current futility of the team’s pitching staff was on full display in this 10-3 loss to the New York Yankees. Starting pitcher Jimmy “Yac” Yacabonis, was called up as the 26th man on the doubleheader roster. By my calculation this is Yac’s sixth stint with the team this year. He hasn’t been very good in any of them.

Yac lasted only 3.1 innings and gave up more runs (six) than he did hits (five). He walked Giancarlo Stanton in the first inning only to see Stanton come in to score on a double and a ground out. But that was nothing compare to the third inning, when he gave up four runs, three on a home run from Miguel Andujar. That inning saw him give up three hits and a walk, plus he hit a guy.

After giving up a one-out double in the fourth inning, Yac was pulled for Ryan “Meis” Meisinger. Meis didn’t do any better, immediately giving up a home run to Brett Gardner. That made the score 7-2 in favor of the Yankees.

Meis didn’t fare much better in the fifth inning, but thanks to a double play ball only gave up one run. He was replaced in the sixth by Sean “Gilly” Gilmartin, a player who you probably had never heard of before he was called up. I write one of the daily minor league recaps every week and I didn’t really recognize his name.

Gilly shut down the Yankees for two innings, which was a refreshing change. But he joined in with his fellow pitchers today by giving up a home run in the eighth, this one to Gleybar Torres. But he was the most effective of the pitchers in this game that you have barely heard of. Mike “Bird” Wright wanted to get in on the fun in the ninth inning and gave up a home run to Aaron Hicks.

The Orioles scored two runs in the second, giving them at the time a 2-1 lead that lasted about 10 minutes. With runners on second and third courtesy of a Chris “Crush” Davis walk and a Tim “Swaggy” Beckham double, Renato “Tato” Nunez took advantage of the situation and hit a line drive single to left field to knock in both runners. It was the first of three hits on the day for Tato.

Even in this garbage game, at least we have Cedric “The Entertainer” Mullins. The Entertainer picked up three hits in the game, the third of which was an RBI single in the ninth inning. He and Tato had six of the team’s eight hits; the other two were the previously mentioned Swaggy double and a single from John Andreoli, who joined the team too late to get a personalized jersey.

The Entertainer also made a nice play in the outfield, a jumping catch to rob Stanton of a home run. So that was fun.

With their 92nd loss in the books, the Orioles will be back out on the field in a few hours for the second game of this doubleheader. It is scheduled to start at 7:05 with Andrew “Cash” Cashner on the mound against Sonny Gray.