Every MLB team will have a new design for its batting practice and spring training caps this season. The people in charge of this effort decided to produce caps that combine each team’s primary logo along with each team’s alternate logo.
For the Orioles in particular, the result of combining the big cartoon Bird logo with the smiling Bird swinging a bat logo looks like some kind of eldritch horror, missing only tentacles to give it a true Lovecraftian feel:
The baseball bat looking like it is impaled through the Oriole Bird’s head is one horrific aspect of this design, reminiscent of the Frankenstein’s monster look that has been with us ever since someone decided to have the metal rod sticking out of Mary Shelley’s fictional creation’s neck.
It’s not the only awful thing, though. The beak of the smiling bird blending into the tailfeathers of the alternate design makes the whole thing misshapen, and to make matters worse, there are the legs sticking out from the bottom of the smiling bird, which do not, in any way, look like they belong.
This sad amalgamation does not even have the capacity to do anything other than smile in this state of being, making it a tragic and pitiable figure. That’s a heavy philosophical burden to put on a batting practice and spring training hat.
If you ever have one of those days at work where you wonder whether you are, in fact, completely terrible at your job, just think about all of the people who were involved in the creation and approval of this design, all of whom looked at it and said, “Nailed it!” If they can keep their jobs and maybe even advance in their careers despite producing work like this, you can do it too.
You can find the full set of cap designs on Sportslogos.net. The Reds creation is similarly awful, with its smiling Redlegs design looking like it’s trapped inside some kind of soul prison. I hope these designs are not a cry for help.
Not all of them are horrible. The Mariners and Tigers ones work so well that these combinations could easily become new, regular logos. So at least these cap designers have that going for them: Most probably won’t induce nightmares or aid in summoning demons from the rift.